Adult Friend Finder Review

Adult Friend Finder has an incredibly large database of 14 million members.  I just checked and 91,000 of them were online and 3200 were in the chat rooms.

Category:                    Adult Dating Services

Free Membership:        Yes

Target Groups:            Heterosexual, Gay, Lesbian, Couples, Groups

What I Liked:               Over 14 million members.

                                      Chat for free in over 80 chat rooms.

What I Didn’t Like:      Free members can’t see the entire profile of a member

Comments:                   Must be 18+ years to join.

                                     Pictures often include genitalia

Score:                         27 of 35

* For a detailed review of Adult Friend Finder visit Dating Site Review.

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Dating and Sex

The topic of sex came up in almost all of the stories in episode 3 of ABC’s "Hooking Up." 

When is the right time to have sex with the person you’re dating? 

Amy, who says she is looking for a husband, had sex with Dave because ‘he’s waited long enough by New York standards… He’s really expecting it and hoping for it…  What’s the big deal?  We like each other.  We’re not 18 anymore."

When she sees Dave three or four days later she tells him he won’t be getting any more ‘shagging’ (as he likes to call it) unless he breaks it off with all the other girls he’s sleeping with.  She’s mad at him because he didn’t call her for 2 days.  After giving him this ultimatum, he starts calling her when he says he will.  It seems like she used sex to control his actions and get the results (him calling) that she wanted.

The most telling comment she made was "He’s in it (meaning online dating) to get laid.  That’s not what I’m here for."  Hmm… actions speak louder than words.  By having sex with him it seems to me that her actions are saying she does want to get laid and isn’t serious about finding a husband.  If she truly is looking for a husband with the house in the suburbs and the kids running around – she may need to start walking her talk.

More mixed signals…

Maryam had another date with Sam and then invited him over to her apartment.  She does this even though she stated to the camera "I don’t want to hurt his feelings but I don’t want to hang out with him anymore."  When Sam asks her if she’s interested in him she replies "You’re here so I’m interested."  When Sam tries to express to her that he needs to hear her verablize this versus figure it out from her actions, the discussion ends with him leaving.

Amy’s opposite…

Reisha, at 30, is very conservative.  She is saving herself for the man she’s going to be with for the rest of her life.  She believes "A strong relationship can be built if intimacy is saved for much later."  She’s even hesitant to kiss Acie, who has flown up from Atlanta twice, as she thinks that will lead to a "slippery slope." 

I find Reisha to be very refreshing.  She wants to get to know her potential mate and bulid a strong relationship first.  Amy could learn a few things from her.

Acie is such a classy guy and funny.  He’s totally content to go at Reisha’s pace.  He said he’s never dated a woman who was practicing celibacy and he hopes he doesn’t lose his mind while waiting…

The classic line of the episode …

from Dave and Amy…

"There’s no need for me to have a timeline."

To which Amy replies: "Of course not, your sperm lasts forever…"

Can you hear her biological clock ticking fast at the age of 28?!

Stay tuned for episode 4 airing Thursday, August 4th.

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What Do You Look for in a Profile?

In a poll in early July 2005 Lavalife.com®  asked it’s members:  “What do you appreciate most in a Lavalife profile?” 

The #1 answer overall, with 49%, was a photo.  In second was ‘well-written/humor’ (34%) and in third was ‘specific info on who they’re seeking’ (15%).

What I found revealing was the difference between how the men and women answered the question.  58% of men choose photo as their number one answer with ‘well-written’ in second with 25%.  43% of women choose ‘well-written’ profile as their 1st choice with photo a close second with 42% of votes.

If you do choose to post a photo, make sure it’s recent (see Mistake #1 in Dating Mistakes) and that the photo is of you.  (Did I really need to say that?!)  I met a man (via Lavalife incidentally) who told me a woman he was conversing with had sent him a picture.  When they decided to meet she kept hedging until she finally told him the truth – she had sent him a picture of her friend not herself. 

I thought the whole point of dating online was to meet a potential friend, date or mate.  Just be who you are.  Why would you want to be anyone else?  It takes a lot of energy trying to be who you think everyone wants you to be.

Note:  The poll and results are property of Lavalife.com ®

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Choose to Love

As a human being we can choose to love or not to love.

The honorary duty of a human being is to love.

– Maya Angelou

The word that stuck out in the above quote is ‘honorary.’  At dictionary.com honorary is defined as “relying on honor and not legally enforceable, as a duty or obligation.”  It also means voluntary. 

To love voluntarily.  To love because you choose to love as per your own free will.

We can choose to love.  It doesn’t cost anything materially.  It does require us to put aside grudges, pride, or the meaning we attach to other people’s actions. 

The  world needs us to choose love.  When we choose love (over hate, doubt, indifference) we add a positive energy into the world.  In the end, when we choose to love, we feel better about ourselves and life in general. 

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More on ‘Hooking Up’ (TV Show)

Episode two of ABC’s ‘Hooking Up’ aired last Thursday (July 21st) and there’s plenty to report.

The Good:

  1. Kelly, a 2nd Grade teacher, has a refreshingly optimistic attitude about dating and marriage.  She said "Just because I’m in my 30’s and not married doesn’t mean there’s something wrong with me.  I just haven’t found the right guy yet."  Later she added "I’m not going to settle."
  2. Maryam, a photographer, said you have to put yourself out there as people will not appear in your lap.  She was excited to go online as it would allow her to meet men she wouldn’t meet in her everyday life.

The Confusing:

In Episode 1 Amy stated that she’s looking for a husband.  She’s from the midwest and is too old to be single as she approaches age 28.  She’s been looking for Mr Right since she was 21 as her plan was to be married by age 28.  Her biological clock is ticking loudly.

I would think if someone is serious about finding a husband they wouldn’t have sex with a guy within the first week of meeting.  Is that long enough to really know and trust someone without the confusing feelings that sex can sometimes cause women?

I will give her credit for calling, admitting that she may have moved too fast, and breaking it off with the guy she thought may be ‘the one.’ 

Telling Remarks from some of the Men Daters

  1. What is it with men dumping dates by email?!  Maryam dated a guy for 6 months and he broke up with her by email.  Not 6 days or 6 weeks but 6 months!
  2. David, one of Amy’s dates, said he tends to be cautious of women who only have pictures from the chest up as they maybe be ‘hiding chunk in the trunk.’  So much for having a great personality…

    A head and shoulder shot allows a potential date to get a could look at you.  I find it harder to see the features of the face in a full body shot.  On the dating services that allow you to post more than one picture, you could post both.  Use a full body shot of you doing something you really love to do.  A picture that lets your personality shine through.

  3. "A lot of women today are looking for security in a man."

    I can’t remember which guy said that, but it may be true.  Neither men nor women can find what they feel they’re missing in another person.  If you want security, fill that hole in yourself.  If you want adventure, do something adventurous.

  4. "Women say they read the profile but they look at the picture just like men." 

    Hmm… I wish he had elaborated a bit more.  It would have been interesting to know what he meant by that.  For instance, does he think that women look at the picture and only look at the profile if they like the photo?  Or does he mean that men and women only look at the photo but not the profile? 

The line of the evening has to go to one of the men Cynthia went out on a date with.  He said he was on a date one night and the woman shared with him that he helped her realize she was a lesbian.  Of course it was in an email he received the next day…

Episode 3 airs this Thurday (July 28th)…

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Date.com Review

Date.com is a large mainstream dating site with 2 million members.

Category:                    Dating Services (Mainstream)

Free Membership:       Yes

Target Groups:            Heterosexual, Gay, Lesbian

What I Liked:              Easy to use and navigate.

What I Didn’t Like:    Can’t search by ‘last time online’.

Comments:                Must be 18+ years old to join Match.com

Score:             23 of 35

* For a detailed review visit Date.com Dating Site Review.    

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Alternative Dating

Alternative dating is for those seeking to fulfill a fantasy or a kinky encounter.   You may be looking for someone with a similar fetish (such as a foot fetish or gay fetish) or those who are into the BDSM scene. 

Some alternative dating sties allow members to search for specific fetishes – such as Alt.  BDSM SexyAds has two chat rooms specifically for those in the BDSM and fetish scenes.   

We reviewed the top alternative dating sites.  To find out who came out on top visit:  Alternative Dating

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Dating Mistakes

Did you catch the dating mistakes made during episode one of ABC’s ‘Hooking Up’ documentary series?   If you caught the episode on Thur. July 14th, I’m sure you would have noticed what doesn’t work when it comes to dating…

Mistake #1:  A self-proclaimed ‘Fabio’ look-a-like used a 15-year old picture of himself to entice women to meet him.  I guess he figured once they met the ‘older’ version of himself they’d be charmed enough to stay.  Not!

Mistake #2:  Telling a lie… or two.  These come in at least three categories – age, name, and profession.  I’m sure there are more but only three occurred in the 1st episode.  The musician (from mistake #1) said he was in his 30’s but he was actually in his 40’s.  Can’t you just hear the umpire?  Steeee-rike 2!

Or the classic line from one of the female daters on the show:  "My name isn’t Jennifer, it’s Lisa."  Which was followed by her revealing that she was a doctor – just like her now confounded date.

Mistake #3:  Asking yourself the wrong questions.  Cynthia, one of the daters, was a bit down after a string of rather unpleasant dates.  She asked herself outloud ‘Why am I single?’  It had a feeling of ‘what’s wrong with me?’ to it.  A better question would have been – "How do I need to be to find the man who fits into my ideal relationship?"  Or, ‘What’s the next best step for me in finding my ideal mate?’  Questions that focus on the positive of what you can do or be.

Mistake #4:  This is probably more of an etiquette ‘violation’ than a mistake.  Breaking up with a date by email.  While the fellow said it was a cop-out, it was still tactless.   (Here’s a previous post on ‘Getting Dumped by SMS‘…)

It’s rather entertaining watching the online dating experiences of others.  Tune in Thursday for Episode 2.

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Adult Dating Services

By now you’ve likely seen ads for Adult Dating Services.  These services are designed for those looking for a casual or intimate encounter. 

Some adult dating services allow members to choose varying degrees of encounters that are displayed with their profile.  These range from virtual encounters that take place online to all-the-way physical ‘mattress dancing’ (as coined in the Dixie Chicks song) in person.

We reviewed the top adult dating sites so you don’t have to.  To find out who came out on top visit:   Adult Dating Sites

P.S.  These sites often have rather graphic profile photographs.  Don’t say we didn’t warn you.

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Dumped on SMS

Can you believe that 25% of youth (15-24) have admitted to dumping their current boyfriend/girlfriend via text messaging?!   Just because you’re older doesn’t mean you’re off the hook…  3% of those aged 65 or older also broke up with someone that way.

I wonder what happens if the text message gets lost.  Talk about confusion.

Source:  https://www.mobileyouth.org/news/mobileyouth1330.html

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